111 Funny Mermaid Puns and One-Liners

Here you find my favorite mermaid puns and one-liners. I compiled a list of the best puns I found on the internet as well as my own ones.

You can use them to cheer yourself up or make your friends laugh. The one-liners are also fin-tastic to use as captions on Instagram and other social media.

Mermaid puns

Q: What do mermaids wash their fins / tails with?

A: Tide.

Q: Why was the mermaid kicked out of Math class?

A: She forgot her Algae-bra.

Q: Where does a mermaid prepare her snacks?

A: In the micro waves.

Q: Why does the mermaid clean her room regularly?

A: She likes it tide-y.

Q: Why do mermaids not use computers?

A: They are afraid of the net.

Q: What do you call it if a mermaid is hiding something?

A: Fishy behaviour.

Q: Why do mermaids wear sea-shells?

A: Because B-shells are too small and D-shells are too big.

Q: How do mermaids give birth?

A: With a sea-section.

Q: What is a male mer-maid called?

A: A mer-butler.

Q: Where does a mermaid sleep?

A: A water-bed.

Q: Where does a mermaid buy fast food?

A: At the dive-in.

Q: Where does a mermaid keep her money?

A: In a river-bank.

Q: What do you call a mermaid who likes to hunt small fish and sleeps a lot?

A: A cat-fish.

(Photo by Javardh on Unsplash)

Q: What do you call a clever mermaid?

A: So-fish-ticated.

Q: Why did the mermaid get embarassed?

A: Because the sea-weed.

Q: Where did the mermaid meet the fisherman?

A: On line.

Q: What does a mermaid reply to pick-up lines?

A: I’m mer-ried.

Q: What did the sea say to the mermaid?

A: Nothing, it just waved.

Q: How do mermaids weigh themselves?

A: They use their scales.

Q: How do mermaids like to take pictures?

A: With a fisheye lens.

Q: How do mermaids send messages?

A: By sea-mail.

Q: Why don’t mermaids play tennis?

A: They might get caught in the net.

Q: How does a mermaid like her drinks?

A: With a pinch of salt.

Q: What does a mermaid say to a deep sea diver?

A: Don’t feel pressured.

Q: What does a mermaid say to another mermaid that does not share her food.

A: You’re so shellfish.

(Photo by Nattu Adnan on Unsplash)

Q: What does a mermaid order in a bar?

A: A mer-tini.

Q: What is the opposite of a mermaid?

A: A landlord.

Q: Why didn’t the mermaid finish high school?

A: Because her grades were always under the C.

Q: Why don’t mermaids stay on land for long?

A: They find it over-whale-ming.

Q: What do mermaids use to eat with?

A: Their fish-fingers.

Q: How do you rate a mermaid?

A: On a scale from one to ten.

Q: What does a mermaid say when she does not know the answer to something?

A: I’m not shore.

Q: Why could the mermaid not swim?

A: She pulled a mussel.

Q: Why does the mermaid look at herself in the mirror so much?

A: She is shell-conchess.

Q: Why was the memaid couple so indecisive?

A: Because they both refused to wear the pants in the realtionship.

Q: What does a mermaid do when she gets lost in the ocean?

A: She yells for kelp.

Q: Why do mermaids not swim in the Antarctic?

A: They would not be mer-maids anymore, but ice-maids.

(Foto von Taryn Elliott von Pexels)

Q: Why does it take mermaids so long to learn the alphabet?

A: They spend too many years at C.

Q: Where does a mermaid get her power from?

A: From Shell gas station.

Q: What’s the meanest gift to give a mermaid?

A: Fishnet stockings.

Q: How do you call it when a mermaid talks quietly?

A: She mer-mers.

Q: What do you call a sarcastic mermaid?

A: Sigh-ren.

Q: Why did the mermaid leave the ocean?

A: Because she thought it was too mainstream.

Q: Why do mermaids swim in saltwater?

A: Because if they swam in pepperwater, they would sneeze.

Q: What do you call a mermaid that is a famous actor?

A: A star-fish.

Q: What makes mermaids so smart?

A: Their mussel memory.

Q: What a mermaid’s favorite tea?

A: Pearl Gray.

Q: Why do mermaids not like to eat human food.

A: It tastes like crab.

Q: What do mermaids gossip about?

A: Current events.

The little mermaid puns

(Photo by rompalli harish on Pexels)

Q: How does the Little Mermaid type her e-mails?

A: In Ariel.

Q: Why was Sebastian kicked out of college?

A: Because all his grades where under da C.

Q: If Ursula turned the Little Mermaid into a piece of clothing, what would Ariel become?

A: A shoe, complete with a poor, unfortunate sole!

Q: What do you call getting attacked by a mermaid?

A: An ariel assault.

Q: What do you call a flying mermaid?

A: Aerial.

Q: What do you call a mermaid on a roof?

A: Aerial.

Mermaid one-liners

Shell we dance?

Seas the day.

I washed up like this.

We mermaid to be friends forever.

Seek to sea more.

Could today get any more pearl-fect?

Getting some much-needed vitamin sea.

I shell in love.

Fishing you a happy day.

You mermaid to go far.

Long time no sea.

Party like a lob-star.

We were mermaid for each other.

But first, let me take a shell-fie.

Wish upon a starfish.

Feeling fin-tastic.

It’s the perfect day, for shore.

New shell phone, who this?

Everything whale be alright.

Peanut butter and jellyfish.

I can’t run, I’m a mermaid.

Mermaid hair, don’t care.

Call me on my shell phone.

(Photo by frank mckenna on Unsplash)

Mermaid off duty.

Mermaids have more fin.

Beach, please!

I don’t give a clam.

If looks could krill.

Let’s shell-ebrate!

I don’t give a ship.

Hanging with my sea gals.

Feeling so-fish-ticated.

Gill-ty pleasure.

Shell yeah!

Find your porpoise.

Keep clam and carry on.

Life is a fanta-sea.

Sweet and salty.

Let’s scale it up.

You’re my bay.

Water you doing today?

Kelp! I need some kelp.

(Foto von Egor Kamelev von Pexels)

Are you squidding me?

I fish you were here.

You caught me!

Holy carp!

Fishing for compliments.

I’m hooked on you!

Stop clownfish-ing around!

I’m trying my best, but I keep floundering!

I think I need to scale back.

Is it just fishful thinking?

I feel like a blobfish today.

Don’t be koi.

Have mer-cy on me!

When you fish upon a star.

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